i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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