someone get that fucking seahorse.
someone owes me an orgasm
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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