Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
