we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
