she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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