Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
