and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
