I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
