What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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