Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
