We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
