Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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