I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My feet surprised me
Randomize
