I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
