Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
