Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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