Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Non-Jews are for practice
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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