What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
