this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
