You made me cry and you don't even care
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
