She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize