No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
