We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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