i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
