Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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