you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
