Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
