I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
