Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
