So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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