How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
