You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
