make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
