he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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