In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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