I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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