Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
