Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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