she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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