I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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