I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
