I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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