my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This house was built for laser tag.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
