I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
