I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I understand Curling. That high.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
