Buhtt sex?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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