I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
