Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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