I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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