so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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