I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
either way he was missing a nipple.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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