12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
