Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
