I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
