I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
