I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
