nut hugger
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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