Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
