You really coming over, don't trick.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
