I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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