I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
