I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
