your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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