Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
