He is an equal opportunity slut.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
