NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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