i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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