what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How external is "for external use only"?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just want to make out with him forever
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
